Category: Self Help

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Featured Self Help

4 Ways To Stop Feeling Guilty

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Guilt is defined as a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined. It’s okay to feel guilty if you know you really did something wrong because it will motivate you to correct your mistakes. However, if you simply think that you should feel guilty, or, worse, that you deserve to feel guilty over something that you said or did, then you are only tormenting and yourself.

Below are some ways you can avoid becoming overwhelmed by irrational guilt:

1. Let the past stay in the past

If your feeling of guilt is connected to an event that you were involved with in the past, then you should learn to accept that it has already happened and there is nothing more you can do about it. An example – you feel guilty because you survived an accident while your companions did not. Feeling bad will not change the outcome; the only way forward is to accept reality, learn from your mistakes, and move on.

2. Realize that nobody is perfect

As the saying goes, to err is human. Everyone commits wrongdoings, whether slight or significant, that he or she will regret later on. Instead of beating yourself up for being less than perfect, focus your efforts on not repeating the same mistakes in the future.

3. Practice self-compassion

We are our own worst critics, and more often than not we will not hesitate to beat ourselves over our mistakes, perceived or otherwise. One way you can be kinder to yourself is to imagine your mistakes happening to a close friend or loved one – would you want him or her to feel the same degree of guilt as you do now? If your answer is no, give yourself the same treatment you would want for that other person.

4. Express your bad feelings in writing or talking

If you are constantly plagued by shame and regret, try to journal your feelings every day so you can build awareness and pinpoint what exactly is causing those guilty feelings. Then you can find ways to deal with it. Studies show that journaling is a very helpful tool in managing your mental health as it helps you deal with overwhelming emotions, and helps you find a healthy way to express yourself. You can also consider seeking help from your loved ones or professional help. These people can give advice on how you can overcome your guilt.

Mindnation psychologists are available for teletherapy sessions 24/7. Book a session now thru bit.ly/mn-chat.

No matter the cause, living with guilt has never been good for one’s mental health. Learn to be kind to yourself by practicing self-forgiveness, letting go of your past regrets, and moving forward.

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Written by Jac of Mindnation

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Featured Get Inspired Self Help

7 Things You Can Do To Effectively Deal with Unexpected Situations

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Some of the unexpected things that we encounter in life can be pleasant – surprise birthday parties, random acts of kindness from strangers, or a rainbow appearing after a downpour.

But distressing things can also occur without warning — traffic accidents, the loss of a job, or the death of a loved one.

As human beings, our instinct is to respond to these events with panic, anger, fear, or frustration. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad, but when we let these negative emotions get the best of us, we cause the executive network of our brain (which is responsible for problem solving) to constrict and work less effectively.

So instead of running around in a panic or falling into despair, we should try our best to keep ourselves calm and be patient so that our brain can come up with solutions to these problems.

Below are some ways can we control our response and channel positive emotions in the face of unexpected stress:

1. Accept that unexpected events are a part of life

As humans, we thrive on routine and predictability; but not only are the occasional mishaps unavoidable, they are inevitable. Once you begin to learn how to acknowledge this fact of life, you will find unexpected events and experiences less troubling, and you will become more receptive to deal with them when they happen. 

2. Keep calm

When faced with an unexpected twist of fate, try your best to resist the instinct to launch into a tirade or run around in a panicked state. One shift you can do to keep yourself calm is to practice mindful breathing, you can do this by first closing your eyes, then begin taking a deep breath, and followed by exhaling slowly. Do this for 10 counts. Once you noticed that you were able to slow down your heart rate, open your eyes and try your best to take on the situation with a fresh mindset. 

3. Look at it from another point of view

Maybe what happened is just a minor incident that’s not as bad as you initially thought? Maybe it’s something temporary that can be fixed in the long run? Getting fired from work could even turn out well, as you might even find a better and more satisfying job. Even if what happened is unequivocally a major disaster, like your house burning down, taking a pause will at least abate your temper or panic and help you calm down long enough to formulate a better response.

4. Don’t take it personally

When something happens, do not immediately label it as “good” or “bad”; it is your response to the situation that determines whether the event becomes positive or negative. For example, if your partner breaks up with you and you blame yourself, become despondent, or think that no one will ever love you anymore, then the break-up becomes something negative. But if you accept that it was not the right relationship for you, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that some good will come your way, then the break-up becomes a blessing in disguise. You never know what will come of a situation, so rather than assuming a situation is bad, which only generates a lot of unhelpful, negative emotions, make an effort to look ahead with optimism.

5. Focus on the solution, not on the problem

When you get hit with unexpected bad news, give yourself time to understand what you need to feel. Then pick yourself up and shift your attention to finding solutions. The moment you ask yourself what you can do to make something better, you have taken the first step in turning a bad event into a more positive outcome. You will also start to feel better because you have regained control over the events.

6.  Believe in yourself.

If you are in an unexpectedly difficult situation, think back to all the other times you encountered challenges and obstacles and ask yourself, “What did I do to get through those events?” If you lack self-confidence, ask someone who knows you well to give you a boost. When you know that you have what it takes to handle the problem, you will start to feel better. 

7. Train yourself to welcome the unexpected

Once in a while, take a different route when you go jogging. Order something else from your favorite restaurant. When deciding what to watch on Netflix, pick a genre that you have never tried before. Doing these small but trivial things will help you become more accepting of change and cope more easily with surprises and unexpected events.  

There is nothing wrong with getting flustered or upset when something unexpectedly bad happens to you. But you must find a way to rise above the stress and turmoil so that you can come up with solutions to the problem. By following the above-mentioned tips, you will feel less agitated, find composure, and be able to manage difficult situations better.

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Written by Jac of Mindnation

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Featured Self Help

3 Ways You Can Be More Present in Your Everyday Life

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Do you spend most of days running around fulfilling one task or another?

Is your mind constantly buzzing with thoughts, plans, worries, predictions, stresses, or reactions?

Do you find yourself forgetting to eat, take a bath, drink water, or go to the bathroom?

If you answered yes to any or all of the above questions, it may be time for you to switch off your body and mind from autopilot mode and become more present and in the moment – better known as mindfulness. If you don’t, stress will overwhelm your body, leading to more physical and psychological problems in the long-run.

Here are some things you can try whenever you need to realign your focus:

1. Practice Mindful Breathing

We breathe every day, but controlled or mindful breathing is another habit we need to cultivate because studies have shown that this will help calm our minds and shift our attention towards the present moment. One of the things you can do is to practice meditative breathing in a quiet corner which will only take a few minutes of your time. Close your eyes and take slow inhales and exhales through your nose. Count your breaths and don’t fret if your mind starts to wander, that is normal; every time you catch your thoughts drifting, just redirect it back to your breath.

2. Set aside distractions

There is nothing wrong with multitasking as it allows you to accomplish more things in a given time. However, multitasking too much and too often can wreak havoc on your mental health, and this is where our smartphones and gadgets end up causing more harm than good. You may think that checking your notifications or scrolling through your newsfeeds while you are doing something else qualifies as multitasking, but in reality, you are just being distracted. If you want to complete a task faster and with more focus, cut down on the time you spend on your phone – put it in silent mode, someplace far away from you, or turn it off completely.

3. Write it down

Making a to-do list is one of the most effective steps you can take to make your day more organized and less hectic. If you want to plan for the long-term, journaling is another great way to organize your thoughts, plans, and dreams. Instead of going through the day or your life aimlessly, at least you now have targets to achieve. 

In today’s fast-paced world, we spend most of our time doing everything automatically and without putting our mind into it. It’s time to switch off this autopilot mode and start living in the moment. 

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Written by Jacq of Mindnation

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Featured Self Help

7 Ways To Take Care Of Your Mental Health During The Coronavirus Pandemic

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The COVID-19 pandemic has cost millions of people their lives, jobs, and a sense of security and stability. Fear and uncertainty continue to lead to anxiety and depression for many of us. If you are one of those people whose mental well-being has taken a hit during the pandemic, below are some things you can practice to build your mental resilience, feel more optimistic, and boost your emotional wellness:

1. Focus on what you can control

Fear and negative feelings can make you replay in your mind all the ways the virus has upended your life: “No more going to the movies/concerts/malls/restaurants,” “No more gatherings with friends/family,” “Your choice, at work is either to resign or take a pay cut.” Because all these are beyond your control, thinking about them will only worsen your anxieties. So, shift your focus to parts of your life that you can manage: your daily routine, the meals you will prepare for yourself or your family, and new goals you want to achieve now that you have extra time to spare. Take this time to practice mindfulness and putting more effort into your mental well-being as well.

2. Avoid information overload

More often than not, you want to stay on top of the latest developments about the pandemic; but when you stay glued to your phone, TV, or computer, you will most likely get inundated with bad news like increasing mortality rates, overwhelmed health care workers, or other upsetting and depressing stories. To ease this toll on your mental health, studies suggest that you set boundaries by learning to limit the time you spend watching the news or reading the news on your social media feed.

3. Seek out ways to help

News might get a little negative but there are also pandemic-related news that are uplifting from people donating to the less fortunate, new businesses thriving, and other stories of generosity and compassion. Look for these human-interest bits when you scroll through your newsfeeds to minimize your anxiety and depression. Hopefully, those stories will inspire you so that you can also shine your own light and be the positivity you want to see in your community!

4. Take brain breaks and entertain yourself

Do activities that can take your mind off stress, such as rewatching your favorite sitcom on Netflix or Youtube, doing jigsaw puzzles/cross-stitch patters/paint-by-numbers, and engaging in activities that will allow you to move your body which is proven to help boost endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine, all of the feel-good chemicals in your brain. They make you feel more energized and happier. Another activity you can do to cope with the Coronavirus anxiety is video chatting with friends and family. Studies show that a lack of social connection can not only hurt our mental health, but also, ultimately, our physical health. Being isolated can also result in more anxiety and depression.

MindNation has a 24/7 Friend you can chat with for FREE via Facebook Messenger, too! It’s completely confidential and they’re trained to help you ease your anxieties. Start chatting here: http://m.me/themindnation 

5. Set Goals

When there is nothing much to do, resist the temptation to fall into a state of idleness, which will only make your life seem more lost and hopeless. Challenge yourself by taking up new hobbies or projects. It can be as simple as redecorating your room, learning how to bake, learning how to play a musical instrument, or decluttering the different spaces in your house. When you have accomplished something, you will not feel as aimless.

6. Practice kindness with others

Just because you’re not a frontliner does not mean you can’t do your part in helping ease the anxiety. Cook food and share it with those whom you think are in need; donate personal protective equipment to hospitals and other frontliners; order baked goods from your neighbor who was furloughed or laid off from his/her work; get takeout from your favorite restaurant to support small business. There are many ways we can practice kindness to others. We can also do this by checking in with our friends and loved ones and ask how they’re doing. You’ll never know who needs it!

7. End every day with gratitude


Every night before going to bed, think of all that you have accomplished, learned or were blessed with during the day. Research shows that cultivating gratitude will help alleviate any negativity you might be feeling, and reminds you that not everything that’s happening right now is bad or depressing.

Doing any of the above does not mean that you should ignore the dangers of COVID-19. But if you keep a positive outlook and help those whom you can – all while practicing minimum health standards – you can reduce your stress and better manage your anxiety during these uncertain times.

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Written by Jac of Mindnation

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Self Help

7 Ways To Get Out Of A Bad Mood

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Anything can put us in a bad mood – a poor night’s sleep, hunger, workplace issues, relationship problems, or current events! But because it’s never a good idea to stay angry for long, below are some ways you can calm down and carry on.

1. Take a nap

Studies have shown that sleep loss can increase negative emotions such as anxiety, restlessness, and sadness. So if you are in a bad mood because you are tired from staying up all night, go take a quick nap so you can relax and revive your energy. Then at night, make sure you turn in earlier than your regular sleep time.

2. Be with nature

The past few years has seen the rise in popularity of ecotherapy — a type of therapeutic treatment which seeks to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression in people by having them spend more time in nature. The next time you are on the verge of blowing your top, step out of the room – literally. Take a walk around the block, take off your shoes and step barefoot on the grass in your garden, or do some yoga stretches outdoors. If there is no greenery outside your house, listening to nature sounds on Spotify or YouTube can also help soothe your temper.

3. Have a good laugh

A hearty laugh has been proven to be good for one’s health – it relieves physical tension and stress, decreases stress hormones, and triggers the overall release of endorphins, which are the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Anytime you’re feeling irritable, turn to Nextflix or YouTube so you can catch reruns or clips of your favorite sitcoms, stand-up comics, or funny cat videos. 

4. Take a social media break

Multiple studies have found a strong link between heavy social media use and an increased risk for depression, anxiety, loneliness, and self-harm. While you might turn to social media to distract yourself from whatever is causing your bad mood, it might end up making you more irritable and dissatisfied because you might come across posts that make you feel  (1) inadequate about your life or appearance, (2) that others are having more fun than you, or (3) lonely. So reduce the time you spend online and spend more time with friends offline. Which brings us to the next tip…

5. Call a friend

When you are close to exploding, the best thing to do is to get your issues off your chest so that you feel lighter and better. And who better to listen to your rants, complaints, or tirades than your best friends? They are perfect if you need a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, or to give advice on how to sort out your problem.

MindNation has a 24/7 Friend you can chat with for FREE via Facebook Messenger, too! It’s completely confidential and they’re trained to help you ease your anxieties. Start chatting here: http://m.me/themindnation 🤗

6. Just press play!

The psychological effects of music can be powerful and wide-ranging. Music therapy has been proven to promote emotional health, help people cope with stress, and boost psychological well-being. Put together a playlist of your favorite feel-good songs and open it whenever you need a dose of good vibrations.

7. Have a bite

There are two ways our stomachs can make us stressed or irritable – if we’re hungry (did not eat enough) or bloated (ate too much unhealthy food). A healthy snack — something high in protein and good fats that is satisfying — can fill you up and give you the fresh energy to get through the rest of the day.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

It’s perfectly normal to lapse into a bad mood, but if you let your anger stew for too long, it can affect your mental and physical health as well as your relationship with others. The next time you’re feeling irritable or stressed, try the above tips and see if your disposition improves.

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Written by Jac of MindNation

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Mental Health 101 Self Help

Do’s And Don’ts For Dealing With Insomnia

What should you do when you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep? Hint: Netflix is not the answer.

Insomnia is a common sleep disorder that can make it hard to fall asleep, hard to stay asleep, or cause you to wake up too early and not be able to get back to sleep.

How should you deal with the times where you wake up at 3 a.m. and find yourself unable to go back to sleep?

The first thing you need to do is rule out physical health problems: conditions like frequent urination, pain, sleep apnea, or acid reflux can prevent you from sleeping soundly. But if you’re sure that your insomnia is caused by stress or anxiety, here are some things you can try:

Do: Relaxing exercises

As you lie in bed awake, give your mind something to focus on beside the fact that you can’t fall asleep. You can try meditation coupled with deep breathing exercises; smartphone apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided meditation, but just remember to open the app quickly, plug in your headphones, and put the phone away as soon as the app is running. Another technique is to progressively tense and relax your muscles – starting from your toes, tense each muscle group for five seconds, then relax, then work your way up until you end with the muscles on your forehead. 

Don’t: Watch the clock

Staring at the minutes go by and realizing how much sleep you’re losing out on will only stress you out, activating your nervous system and making you feel more alert instead of sleepy. If you have a bedside clock, turn the clock face away from you or put it someplace where you cannot see it.

Instead of marking off the minutes, use your “mind clock” to estimate how long you have been awake.   

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Do: Leave the room and do something else

If you feel that more than 20 minutes in your mind clock has passed and you’re still wide awake, get up from the bed and move to a chair, couch, or go to another room entirely (but NOT to the kitchen for a midnight snack). You don’t want to associate your bed with sleeplessness. Do a boring, low-key activity using low lamplight, like reading (not an e-book), coloring, knitting, or listening to soft music. Keep yourself occupied until you’re bored enough to fall asleep again.

Don’t: Look at social media or turn on the television

This is not the time to catch up on your favorite TV series, because it will keep you up when you should be looking for ways to wind down. Neither do we recommend doing anything with your smartphone, because the phone emits blue light which can disrupt your circadian rhythm (your body’s sleep-wake cycle) and inhibits melatonin production (the hormone that also regulates the sleep-wake cycle). If you scroll through social media, you might inadvertently come across distressing news or receive work-related messages – all of which can be potential sources of stress and make it more difficult for you to go back to sleep. 

The next time you find yourself wide awake in the middle of the night, don’t panic. Instead, do relaxing activities so you can return to a state of drowsiness. But if you experience insomnia for more than a month, or if the lack of sleep starts interfering with daytime activities, it’s time to seek the help of a medical professional. 

Chronic insomnia affects up to 20% of adults. Many adults don’t seek treatment for it. Seek medical advice if you experience symptoms that last longer than a month or so. Ditto if lack of sleep interferes with your daytime activities.

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Written by Jac of MindNation

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Featured Mental Health 101 Self Help

Coping With Coronavirus Anxiety

2020 is the year of COVID-19 and the virus shows no signs of slowing down. It has claimed lives, closed down businesses, and upended our daily routines. Everyday we watch the news in the hopes that a vaccine has already been developed, but until that happens many of us are left in a state of perpetual helplessness and anxiety. These feelings are understandable as they help keep us mindful and safe, but they also need to be managed so that they do not keep us from enjoying our lives. Here are six suggestions:

1.  Limit your exposure to information about the pandemic. Incessantly consuming news about the virus outbreak heightens and perpetuates anxiety. Rather than looking at the news channel all day, define specific times of day to watch the news or read updates. 

2. Do things to lessen anxiety. Exercising, meditating and journaling are all good strategies for managing your anxiety levels.

3. Indulge in distractions. Reading a book, doing a puzzle, watching a movie, or playing a board game can help take your mind off the pandemic, even for just a little while. 

4. Maintain a daily routine. If you live in a country that still has quarantine policies in place, odds are your typical daily regimen has been disrupted. Even if you are isolating at home, try to develop and keep to a revised routine. Predictable schedules provide a semblance of control and can ease anxiety. 

5. Drink moderately. While consuming alcohol may relax you, it’s not a good long-term strategy. Many anxiety-sufferers report surges in anxiety the day following consumption of alcohol. 

6. Consider professional counseling. Psychotherapy can be very helpful during times of extraordinary stress. Having a trained third party who can help you develop goals and support you as you learn to manage your struggle is highly important. Many mental health professionals and organizations have moved their operations to a telehealth format, which means you can seek help while practicing social distancing. 

MINDNATION IS HERE

Need someone to speak to? MindNation psychologists are available 24/7 if you need someone to talk to. Book a teletherapy session at bit.ly/mn-chat.

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Featured Mental Health 101 Self Help

8 Ways To Protect Yourself From Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is defined as the use of electronic communication to torment a person, typically by sending hurtful or threatening messages. Other forms of cyberbullying include:

  • Posting sensitive, private information about a person for the purpose of hurting or embarrassing that person
  • Pretending to be someone else in order to make that person look bad and/or to intentionally exclude someone from an online group
  • Making cruel websites about a person
  • Spreading rumors online or through texting

Celebrities are the most common victims of cyberbullying because of their heightened online presence, but anyone with a social media account can be a target – men, women, and even children. 

If you are being attacked online, it can create anxiety and stress and even possibly lead to panic attacks and depression. Your self-esteem, confidence, and social skills can also be affected. But don’t worry, there are ways you can restore some control over the situation. Below are 10 steps you can take if you are being cyberbullied:

  1. Do not engage. Those who cyberbully want you to react. But if you respond angrily, the one doing the bullying may feed off of that response and continue (or even escalate the severity of) the cyberbullying. Plus, there could be consequences for your response – they might turn the tables and accuse YOU of bullying them.
  1. Block/delete/ban the bullies. Out of sight is out of mind. But if the bullying still persists, proceed to step 3. 
  1. Take screenshots of everything. Before you report the bully, keep evidence of all content (pictures, texts, emails, tweets, status updates, blog posts) that the person has sent or posted about you. You can even make screen recordings of Snapchat, Facebook, or Instagram Stories. You will need them as evidence when you proceed to step 4. 
  1. Report it to your employer or the police. If the person harassing you is a co-worker, then your employer needs to know about it because it is preventing you from doing your job. If threats of physical harm are made, or if the cyberbullying starts to get more dangerous, you can file charges with the police.

5) Report the bullying to the site or network on which it occurs. Every reputable website has a “Report” feature that allows you to tell them about behaviors that violate their terms of use. Guilty parties will then be banned. 

6) Tighten up your privacy settings. Make sure that only those personally known to you have access to your content. If this still fails, proceed to the next step.

7) Change your profile on social media. Set up a new online account completely. Use a different name, photo, and even contact details.

8) Talk about it with someone. Talking to someone about what you are going through, even if it is just to vent, can be very therapeutic. They might have gone through similar situations and could be able to give you advice. If you think you may be experiencing overwhelming depression or anxiety, seek out counselling. 

Never tolerate cyberbullying. Even a short duration of being a cyber-victim can impact your mental well-being. By taking the steps above, you can take back your right to live peacefully and safely. 

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Featured Self Help

6 Ways To Cope With Politically-Induced Stress

How do you keep cool when your beliefs, ideologies, and convictions are put to the test?

Politics will always be a polarizing topic, hence the constant reminder by etiquette experts to “never discuss politics or religion in social gatherings.” But because of social media and the 24-hour news cycle, many of us find ourselves unwittingly barraged by information that, depending on our beliefs and ideologies, can be distressing. What should you do if you find government policies upsetting? How can you keep from feeling guilty or betrayed if close friends or family members have political views that are contrary to yours? How can you keep trolls from pushing your buttons? 

To help avoid these negative effects to your mental well-being, here are some recommended ways to deal with politically-induced stress:

  1. Limit the time you spend engaging with political content

How many times a day do you check the news or the social media pages of your favorite politicians? If you are constantly looking at your phone to stay up to date, you are also increasing the likelihood of feeling anxious, angry, or sad over what you see or read. As a solution, try going online only a few times a day, preferably not in the morning so that you do not start your day with upsetting news. Also try to follow only fact-based, reputable, or primary sources so that the information is provided accurately and not biased in favor of a particular set of beliefs.

  1. Do not feed the trolls

A “troll” is internet slang for someone who deliberately posts inflammatory comments and argumentative messages online in an attempt to provoke, disrupt, and upset others. “Feeding” means responding to said comments, which is counterproductive because you are only giving them the attention that they crave. So instead of giving them the satisfaction of an angry reaction, remind yourself that they are just deliberately baiting you, and that the best way to shut them down is to ignore them.

  1. Be mindful of your surroundings when sharing political opinions 

How do you talk about politics with your friends, family, or coworkers? While sharing thoughts on a certain political topic can hep broaden minds, it can also cause tension or bring up uncomfortable feelings if people do not think or feel the same way as you. So never make assumptions about other people’s beliefs, even if they are close friends or family members. Again – do not bring up politics during social gatherings.

  1. Be open to learning about other points of view

Now what if SOMEONE ELSE brings up politics? Instead of feeling dread, try to reframe the discussion as an educational opportunity to find out why others think differently from you. Their opinions might have been shaped a certain way because they were raised in an environment or encountered life circumstances different from yours. Choose to keep quiet and just listen; but if you want to engage, be sure to keep your questions balanced and respectful. Remember that the personalities and issues being talked about will change by the next elections, but your friends and (especially) family members are here to stay, so you need to maintain harmonious ties with them.

  1. Know you can always step away

If the conversation is really making you uncomfortable, you can either try to change the subject or step away from the table to preoccupy your mental space with something else. Go to the bathroom, or pretend you need to make an emergency phone call; either way, come back when you are feeling more collected. 

  1. Get involved

Mahatma Gandhi said it best – “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Being helpless over what is going on around you can be stressful and depressing, so try taking an action on an issue that you care about to exert some control over a situation. Volunteer with a community group, make donations, participate in activism, or write a letter to your city’s local officials – all these won’t necessarily solve the problem, but they can help you feel a sense of accomplishment and purpose. Just remember to stay safe at all times, and always assess how the added responsibilities are affecting your mental health.

It is possible to find calm amidst the political storm. Just limit the time you spend reading the news, know when to engage and when to back off from discussions, and find ways to do your part in making the community better. 

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Mental Health 101 Self Help

6 Ways To Support Someone Who is Unemployed

Losing one’s job can be emotionally devastating. If your friend or family member is going through such a difficult time, below are some ways you can help their mental health.

The COVID-19 pandemic has rendered millions of people all over the world laid off, and chances are that one of them is someone that you personally know. 

If your friend or family member is suddenly unemployed, it’s normal for you to feel concerned but unsure of what to do or say to make them feel better. Below are some things you can do:

  1. Don’t be in a rush to cheer them up

We feel bad if a loved one is in despair, so our first instinct is to try to lift their spirits up. But saying things like “Everything will be all right” or “I’m sure you’ll find a job soon,” is not the way to go because it will seem as if you are telling them to brush aside the hurt, anger, and sadness that they are feeling inside and put on a happy face right away. Remind them that it’s okay to not be okay. 

  1. Instead, offer a listening ear. 

Your loved ones may be hesitant to open up because they think that others will look down on them or will regard them as a burden. Or they may feel that no one will understand what they are going through. So take the initiative and give them a call or send a short text. Say something as simple as “I know this is a rough time for you but I want you to know that if you need to talk, I am here for you.” Then if they take you up on the offer just quietly listen and validate their emotions (i.e. “That sounds hard.”) Do not offer advice unless they expressly ask for it. 

  1. Don’t blame.

One of the worst things to do is to blame the person for being unemployed. Bringing up past mistakes (“You got yourself fired because you did not work hard enough”) or labeling the person (“You really can’t keep a job”) will only make them feel much worse. This is a rough time and they need your support, not additional negativity. Even if you think your criticism is constructive, it will not help the current situation. 

  1. Don’t nag.

There is a difference between encouraging your friend or family member to be more active in searching for a job and putting undue additional pressure on them. Nagging them to submit resumes, follow-up applications, or hold practice interviews will only add stress to an already stressful time.  

  1. Instead, reward small accomplishments. 

Notice the positive steps your loved one is making and say things like “It’s good you were able to send out five applications today,” or “Congratulations on getting a call-back.” Also give praise if your friend does healthy activities not related to work, like taking up a new exercise regimen or embarking on a home improvement project. By focusing on the positives, you acknowledge their efforts as well as build their self-confidence.

  1. Offer distractions

Plan activities together that will help them temporarily get their minds off their job worries, although be mindful of their budget concerns. Take a walk around the block for some fresh air or exercise, or plan a virtual game night with friends. Just because they are unemployed does not mean they no longer deserves to rest or relax. 

Keep in mind that being unemployed is a hard time for your friend or family member. Don’t let stress, anxiety, or depression take over their life. Take the lead in supporting their emotional well-being and remind them to take care of their physical health too. Only then will they be strong and confident enough to move on to the next phase of their life. 

MINDNATION IS HERE

Does your friend or loved one need someone to speak to? MindNation psychologists are available for teletherapy sessions 24/7. Book a session now thru bit.ly/mn-chat.