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Featured Self Help

6 Ways To Cope With Politically-Induced Stress

How do you keep cool when your beliefs, ideologies, and convictions are put to the test?

Politics will always be a polarizing topic, hence the constant reminder by etiquette experts to “never discuss politics or religion in social gatherings.” But because of social media and the 24-hour news cycle, many of us find ourselves unwittingly barraged by information that, depending on our beliefs and ideologies, can be distressing. What should you do if you find government policies upsetting? How can you keep from feeling guilty or betrayed if close friends or family members have political views that are contrary to yours? How can you keep trolls from pushing your buttons? 

To help avoid these negative effects to your mental well-being, here are some recommended ways to deal with politically-induced stress:

  1. Limit the time you spend engaging with political content

How many times a day do you check the news or the social media pages of your favorite politicians? If you are constantly looking at your phone to stay up to date, you are also increasing the likelihood of feeling anxious, angry, or sad over what you see or read. As a solution, try going online only a few times a day, preferably not in the morning so that you do not start your day with upsetting news. Also try to follow only fact-based, reputable, or primary sources so that the information is provided accurately and not biased in favor of a particular set of beliefs.

  1. Do not feed the trolls

A “troll” is internet slang for someone who deliberately posts inflammatory comments and argumentative messages online in an attempt to provoke, disrupt, and upset others. “Feeding” means responding to said comments, which is counterproductive because you are only giving them the attention that they crave. So instead of giving them the satisfaction of an angry reaction, remind yourself that they are just deliberately baiting you, and that the best way to shut them down is to ignore them.

  1. Be mindful of your surroundings when sharing political opinions 

How do you talk about politics with your friends, family, or coworkers? While sharing thoughts on a certain political topic can hep broaden minds, it can also cause tension or bring up uncomfortable feelings if people do not think or feel the same way as you. So never make assumptions about other people’s beliefs, even if they are close friends or family members. Again – do not bring up politics during social gatherings.

  1. Be open to learning about other points of view

Now what if SOMEONE ELSE brings up politics? Instead of feeling dread, try to reframe the discussion as an educational opportunity to find out why others think differently from you. Their opinions might have been shaped a certain way because they were raised in an environment or encountered life circumstances different from yours. Choose to keep quiet and just listen; but if you want to engage, be sure to keep your questions balanced and respectful. Remember that the personalities and issues being talked about will change by the next elections, but your friends and (especially) family members are here to stay, so you need to maintain harmonious ties with them.

  1. Know you can always step away

If the conversation is really making you uncomfortable, you can either try to change the subject or step away from the table to preoccupy your mental space with something else. Go to the bathroom, or pretend you need to make an emergency phone call; either way, come back when you are feeling more collected. 

  1. Get involved

Mahatma Gandhi said it best – “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Being helpless over what is going on around you can be stressful and depressing, so try taking an action on an issue that you care about to exert some control over a situation. Volunteer with a community group, make donations, participate in activism, or write a letter to your city’s local officials – all these won’t necessarily solve the problem, but they can help you feel a sense of accomplishment and purpose. Just remember to stay safe at all times, and always assess how the added responsibilities are affecting your mental health.

It is possible to find calm amidst the political storm. Just limit the time you spend reading the news, know when to engage and when to back off from discussions, and find ways to do your part in making the community better. 

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Featured Get Inspired Mental Health 101

How To Help A Friend With Mental Health Challenges

5 things you can do to support a friend with mental health challenges. And 4 things you don’t have to do. 

Everyone knows how to take care of a friend who has the flu or a sprained ankle; but what do you do if she says she is depressed, stressed, or not acting like herself? 

While it can be very scary, confusing, or awkward when a loved one has a mental illness, all the more we need to give our extra love and support. Research has confirmed that support from family and friends is a key part of helping someone who is going through a mental illness. Not sure what to do? Below are some ways you can be a good friend to someone who is struggling:

  1. Listen without making judgements. 

People who are going through difficult circumstances most likely feel very alone, so just having a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on can already be a tremendous help. You don’t have to pretend you feel the same way as your friend; just saying “That sounds hard” is already enough because it conveys to your friend that you are validating her feelings, and that what she is going through is not an overreaction. 

  1. Ask how you can help. 

Sometimes help can be in the form of taking on extra tasks on your friend’s behalf, or offering solutions to the problem. But if you don’t know exactly what she needs, don’t hesitate to ask. It shows you care and takes the guesswork away.  Another way to help would be to encourage her to seek professional advice, or, if she is not yet ready, refer her to practical information or resources online.

  1. Understand her limitations. 

If your friend is angry with someone, don’t push her to make amends right away If she is depressed, don’t expect her to go out with you every time you invite her. Give her time and space to sort through her feelings, but check in every once in awhile to make sure that the emotions do not escalate into something more negative.

  1. Don’t gossip. 

People are afraid to open up about their mental health problems because they worry that others might begin to regard them in a negative light. So if a friend confides in you, respect her trust and keep the conversation between yourselves. However, if she starts talking about committing dangerous acts or inflicting self-harm, consult a family member or a professional immediately. 

  1. Offer distractions. 

Listening and offering advice is good, but you don’t have to talk about her mental health every time you are together. Share what is going on with your life, talk about something you’re both interested in, or do other fun and energizing activities together to take her mind off her problems. 

Things you DON’T have to do:

Resist the urge, however, to be wholly responsible for your friend’s mental health condition. When supporting someone who is going through a difficult time, here are some things you are not obliged to do: 

  1. Be available 24/7
  2. Put yourself in danger to watch over your friend
  3. Feel guilty if things are going well for you
  4. Stay in the relationship if it is no longer working for you

Always remember that your own health and well-being should come first. If your friend’s condition is too much for you to handle, or if she is threatening to commit suicide or harming someone else, the best thing would be for you to take a step back and refer her to a mental health professional help right away. 

MINDNATION IS HERE

Does your friend need someone to speak to? MindNation psychologists are available 24/7 for teletherapy sessions. Book a session now thru bit.ly/mn-chat.

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Featured Mental Health 101

5 Ways To Build A Healthy Body Image In Children

Self-acceptance starts at home.

Previously, we talked about how adults can develop body positivity. But because body image concerns can begin as early as childhood, it’s also important for parents and other adult role models to promote a positive body image to the younger generation

Why? Studies have shown that young people with a positive image of themselves grow up to be more confident individuals. They are more likely to succeed in their goals because they do not spend time worrying about calories, food, or weight. On the other hand, kids with negative body image feel more self-conscious and anxious. They are at greater risk for excessive weight gain, eating disorders, depression, and other mental health issues. 

Here are the things you can do cultivate body positivity in your children: 

  1. Be a good role model

Children pick up cues from their parents, so be conscious about the way you talk about bodies to your children. Does she see you constantly stepping on the weighing scale or measuring your waistline? Do you often complain about how certain clothes make you fat? If yes, your child might begin to become conscious of her appearance as well. 

How about how you describe others? Do you often describe relatives and friends as “the fat one,” “the one with bad skin,” or “the sexy one”? Refrain from doing so, or, if possible, make positive comments about people of all shapes and sizes or point out other forms of beauty. 

  1. Stop obsessing about numbers. 

Instead of focusing on a target weight or clothes size, aim to live a healthy and active lifestyle. This means encouraging kids to play instead of “working out,” and eating balanced meals instead of “dieting.” This teaches kids that taking care of their bodies is more important than needing to look a certain way. 

  1. Praise strength over sexiness.

Show like “American Ninja Warrior” and “The Titan Games” showcase people of different shapes, sizes, and color doing amazing feats of athleticism. These are the people your children should be emulating.

  1. Watch out for body shaming. 

No one is perfect, but if you look at the comments on social media you would think that everyone should be perfect lest they get teased or bullied. Tell your child to either ignore these nasty comments, or, if she’s old enough, to respond simply with “I try not to talk negatively about bodies” or “What a weird world we live in where people feel they can judge each other’s bodies.” 

  1. Educate them that there is no such thing as the “perfect body.”

Help your child be more critical and observant. Explain to them that the pictures of models they see on tv, magazines, or online have been retouched or changed so that the bodies appear “perfect.”

Remember that a healthy body image begins at home. Focus on healthy living and not on outward appearances, so that your child will grow up confident and comfortable in her own body. 

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Featured Mental Health 101 Self Help

Stressed Because Of Unemployment?

Here are 10 ways you can take care of your mental health as you exit, look for, or rest from employment.

If you’ve recently lost your job because of the pandemic, you may be struggling to manage feelings of sadness and hopelessness as you worry about the future and your family’s well-being. At the same time, you may be coping with other troubling thoughts like:

  • A loss of identity and sense of purpose
  • Feeing useless 
  • Feeing angry and jealous of others who still have work

During this difficult time, it is all the more important that you pay attention to your mental health. Not doing so might cause mood swings, depression, and anxiety to dominate your entire life, leading to problems like substance abuse, deterioration of physical health, or withdrawal from day to day activities. In addition, mental health conditions might make you too nervous or lack the confidence to apply for a new job. 

Here are some ways you can maintain positive mental health during this difficult period: 

  1. Acknowledge (don’t ignore) your emotions. It is perfectly normal to feel bad and scared over losing your job. These feelings should never be buried or ignored; instead allow yourself the time and space to grieve. If it helps, call up a friend or loved one to act as a sounding board so you can sort through your feelings. However – 
  1. Avoid self-recrimination. Be kind to yourself. Avoid negative self-talk like “It’s all my fault I lost my job,” “Nobody is going to want to employ me,” or “What’s the point of even trying?!” This defeatist attitude does not help. 
  1. Don’t isolate yourself. It is normal to feel ashamed about having lost a job, which will make you want to avoid family and friends. But opening up to supportive friends or loved ones, even if it’s just a select few, can make a big difference in boosting your mental health. During the pandemic, you can still maintain social interactions through video chat, talking on the phone, or sending messages.
  1. Maintain a regular routine. Resist the urge to stay in bed all day, skip meals, or shy away from day-to-day responsibilities at home – these will only increase your sense of distress and will highlight the disparity between your pre- and post- employed lifestyle. Instead, continue to wake up at the same time each day, eat healthy meals, and make time for exercise. Working out can relieve symptoms of stress, anxiety, and depression. Focusing on your physical and mental health can help you feel better and more in control of your life.
  1. Set daily goals. Once you are up and about, write down a to-do list of goals that you want to accomplish every day. Whether that means sending out five job applications, updating your resume, catching up on housework, or finishing two chapters of a new book, setting goals gives you something to work towards. Staying busy will also keep you from ruminating about your job loss. Unemployment can definitely affect your self-esteem but if you’re constantly working towards a goal or doing something to improve yourself, you will feel more accomplished and start regaining your sense of self-worth.
  1. Set limits to job searching. Don’t let looking for work take over your life. Instead, allot a dedicated number of hours each day to updating your resume, looking at job openings online, or filling out applications. But also remember that you deserve to rest and relax. 
  1. Volunteer. If you’re feeling stuck or isolated, consider devoting a certain number of hours each week to a worthy cause. Make face masks or face shields to donate to those who need them. Run errands for elderly or immunocompromised neighbors. Or cook meals and deliver them to medical frontliners or the less fortunate in your area. Volunteering can make you feel better about yourself, allow you to add a positive entry to your resume, or in some cases even result in a job opportunity.
  1. De-stress through healthy ways. Make sure you have plenty of healthy coping mechanisms at your disposal, so you can reach for something healthy when your stress or anxiety start to escalate. Writing in a journal, meditating, deep breathing, and yoga are a few examples. You may be tempted to turn to things that will give you immediate relief—like alcohol or food – but note that these things will cause more problems for you in the long term. 
  1. Take up a new hobby. Use your new-found free time as an opportunity to do something you were always too busy for. New hobbies can give you something to look forward to and keep you busy. Build a bookshelf, organize your closet, or start growing your own herbs and vegetables. Consider learning a new language, instrument, or craft. Take advantage of free or discounted classes being offered online. 
  1. Know when to get more help. If you’re experiencing a persistent low mood for more than two weeks or have difficulty functioning, please seek the help of a mental health professional. The pandemic has upended the jobs and lives of many other people – you are not alone. 

If you practice healthy coping strategies to care for your mental health while unemployed, you’ll have higher self-esteem, more stable moods, fewer bouts of anxiety and depression, and more confidence to tackle the next stage of your life.

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Featured Get Inspired Mental Health 101 Self Help

7 Ways To Become More Everyday

Mindfulness is defined by the dictionary as a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations without judgement. 

In today’s fast-paced world, getting many things done in the shortest time possible is seen as a benchmark of success. Slowing down and staying focused on the present is seen as unproductive and a waste of time. But practicing mindfulness has been scientifically proven to have benefits. These include:

Improved overall well-being: Being mindful makes it easier to savor the pleasures in life as they occur, it helps you become fully engaged in activities, and creates a greater capacity to deal with challenging events. By focusing on the here and now, many people who practice mindfulness find that they are less likely to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets over the past, are less preoccupied with concerns about success and self-esteem, and are able to form deeper connections with others.

Improved physical health. Mindfulness can help relieve stress, treat heart disease, lower blood pressure, reduce chronic pain, improve sleep, and alleviate digestive difficulties.

Improved mental health. Psychotherapists have turned to mindfulness meditation as an important element in the treatment of a number of problems, including: depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, couples’ conflicts, anxiety disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

How to practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is not about sitting cross-legged and meditating for hours; rather, it’s making a deliberate attempt to focus on your present thoughts, feelings, and activities. This means you can practice mindful living in your everyday activities. Here are 7 ways:

  1. Mindful eating

Mindless eating occurs when you simply go through the motions of putting food in your mouth and your thoughts are somewhere else – i.e. on the tv show in front of you, on the newsfeeds of your social media accounts, or on the difficult emotions that you are trying to comfort through food. When you eat without focus, it can contribute to physical problems like overeating and consuming too much salt or sugar.

Mindful eating is simply pay attention to what you are eating. Really see what is on your plate, so that you can check if you are eating a balanced meal. Junk foods should be taken in moderation, if not kept to a minimum. Don’t gobble everything in one go; chew the food slowly to make it easier for your stomach to digest it. Savor the tastes. Notice when you are getting full so that you can stop. When you become more intentional about what you’re eating, you’ll be better equipped to focus on fueling your body with the nutrition it needs.

  1. Mindful listening. 

When someone is talking to you, give him your full attention. Look at him in the eye instead of doing work, chores, or scrolling through your phone. Accord your companion the respect that you would also like to receive. 

  1. Mindful communication.

When you talk to someone, think before responding, especially if the subject is contentious. Don’t interrupt — wait until they finish talking before responding. 

Do not lash out in anger, as it can make the situation worse. Pay attention to how you are feeling, then see if you can give your opinions calmly and rationally.

  1. Engage in day-to-day activities mindfully.

Do you ever have trouble recalling whether you’ve brushed your teeth already before going to bed? Or do you sometimes forget why you walked into a certain room? Those are signs that you have a lot of things going on in your mind and you aren’t being mindful. The best way to focus on the present is to tune in to the physical sensations of the activity at hand, becoming fully aware of everything you do, and not thinking about anything else.

So if you are brushing your teeth, savor the feel of the warm water in your mouth, of the bristles going around your teeth, or of the minty fresh flavor of the toothpaste. If you are about to go into a room to get something, think about what the object looks like and how it will feel to grasp it in your hands. Don’t think about doing other things if you have not yet completed the task that you originally set out to do.

  1. Take pauses throughout the day

If you are having a busy day and are moving from one task to the next, it can be difficult to stay mindful. When this happens, try taking mini-breaks throughout the day to practice a few basic mindfulness exercises, like:

  • Focusing on your breath – inhale deeply through your nose, then exhale through the nose as well. The length of your inhales and exhales should be the same. Count your breaths; continue breathing in and out in an even manner until you reach one hundred.
  • Gentle stretches – chair yoga can be done without having to leave your desk, and it only takes 15 minutes 
  • Progressive muscle relaxation — work on tensing and relaxing your muscles, one muscle group at a time. With practice, you’ll learn to recognize when you’re tensing up certain parts of your body.
  1. Do one thing at a time

Many people equate multi-tasking with being productive, but the truth is when your brain is madly shifting from one activity to the next, it is losing attention and not retaining as much information as it should – so it ends up being very unproductive! The next time you are tempted to do more than one thing at the same time, bring your focus to the task that is more important. Put your phone on silent mode or log out of your social media accounts so that you will not be tempted to check every notification that pops up; set a timer for the amount of time you need to work, and it is only when time is up that you can move on to doing something else. 

  1. Accepting yourself

Lastly, the best way to stay focused on the present is to focus on yourself. This means perceiving your experience and simply acknowledging it rather than judging it as good or bad. For example, when you feel pain, whether it’s physical, (such as a painful shoulder) or mental (like depression or anxiety) don’t wallow in despair or blame yourself or others. Simply acknowledge what happened, learn what mistakes were made so you don’t repeat it in the future, then focus on things in the present that can make you happy.

Mindfulness is a “practice” because no one will get it when they first start, and no one can claim that they are living mindfully 100% of the time. It is human nature for the mind to wander and be distracted. But just keep trying and be patient; the goal is not to live mindfully all the time, but to do so more often than not. When you begin to focus on the present, you can start enjoying benefits like decreased stress, improved relationships (with others and with yourself), and greater overall happiness. 

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Featured Mental Health 101 Self Help

7 Celebrities Who Have Opened Up About Their Mental Health Struggles

You are not alone. Be inspired by the personal stories of these public figures and #BreakTheStigma

Even though the understanding of mental health and its impacts have increased over the years, harmful stereotypes about mental health conditions still abound and deter people from seeking help when needed. Thankfully, more and more famous people are beginning to open up about their struggles with depression, anxiety, postpartum depression, eating disorders, addiction, and other mental health concerns. In doing so, they are helping to break down the stigma, encourage discussions, and inspire others to seek treatment.  

Below are some celebrities who have publicly shared their mental health difficulties in the media:

  1. Prince Harry

Prince Harry was 12 years old when his mother died, but it was only much later when he was 28 years old that he decided to seek professional help to address his grief. He revealed in a 2017 interview that in those two decades, he shut down all his emotions, felt very close to a complete breakdown, and experienced anxiety during royal engagements. 

“I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12, and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years, has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life but my work as well,” he admitted. “I thought that thinking of her was only going to make me sad and not going to bring her back. So from an emotional side, I was, like, ‘Right, don’t ever let your emotions be part of anything.’”

In 2016, he started the Heads Together charity with his brother Prince William and sister-in-law Kate Middleton. Heads Together combines a campaign to tackle stigma and change the conversation on mental health with fundraising for a series of innovative new mental health services.

“The experience that I have is that once you start talking about it, you suddenly realize that actually, you’re part of quite a big club.”

  1. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

The Rock is one of the busiest, richest, and most recognizable actors in the world, but his private life is also full of struggles and low points. In a 2014 interview, he reveals that he has experienced three bouts of major depression in his life – the first was when his promising football career was cut short due to injuries; the second was when he broke up with a long-time girlfriend, and the third occurred when he got divorced from this first wife. 

“I found that, with depression, one of the most important things you could realize is that you’re not alone. You’re not the first to go through it; you’re not going to be the last to go through it … I wish I had someone at that time who could just pull me aside and [say], ‘Hey, it’s gonna be OK. It’ll be OK… Hold on to that fundamental quality of faith. Have faith that on the other side of your pain is something good.”

  1. Demi Lovato

The singer is an outspoken advocate for mental health awareness. In 2017, she produced “Beyond Silence”, a documentary that showcases the lives of three people who live with anxiety and depression, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia (respectively). In the same year, she released “Simply Complicated” on YouTube, which chronicled her life and career, including her struggles with addiction, bipolar disorder, and bulimia, and her time spent in rehab.

“It’s very important we create conversations, we take away the stigma, and that we stand up for ourselves if we’re dealing with the symptoms of a mental illness,” Lovato said. “It is possible to live well and thrive with a mental illness.”

  1. Chris Evans

He may look strong and confident as Captain America, but in real life Chris is an intensely private person who experiences social anxiety during red carpet appearances, comparing them to “walking on hot coals.” In addition, he also suffers from what he calls a “noisy brain” which makes him second-guess everything and “turn casual conversations into whirlpools of self-doubt.” He has tried calming his mind through meditation, Buddhism, and by reading the books of spiritualist Eckhart Tolle.

“I’ve gotten better,” Evans says. But he still struggles sometimes with overanalyzing things, with letting his self-consciousness take over, with not just being present in the moment.

  1. Ryan Reynolds

In a 2018 interview, the 41-year-old actor shared that he has suffered from anxiety since his 20s. He turned to partying, and even self-medicating, to feel better but says he stopped taking drugs when several friends died from overdoses. 

Red carpet appearances would give him stomachaches, and he had so much anxiety over taking on the role of Deadpool (he was worried about letting fans down) that it began to affect his sleep. He credits his wife, actress Blake Lively,  as well as meditation apps like Headspace for calming his nerves.

“I have three older brothers,” he said. “Our father was tough. He wasn’t easy on anyone. And he wasn’t easy on himself. I think the anxiety might have started there, trying 
to find ways to control others by trying to control myself. At the time, I never recognized that. I was just a twitchy kid.” 

  1. Lady Gaga

The singer was sexually assaulted when she was 19 years old, and developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of not being able to fully process the traumatic event. “I did not have anyone help me, I did not have a therapist, I did not have a psychiatrist, I did not have a doctor help me through it,” she said. “I all of a sudden became a star and was traveling the world going from hotel room to garage to limo to stage, and I never dealt with it.” When she began to experience intense chronic body pain, she went to see a doctor and found out that the pain may have been triggered by the trauma and psychological stress of her rape.  

Today, Lady Gaga is a staunch advocate for mental health issues, as well as LGBT rights. In 2011, she and her mother founded the Born This Way Foundation as a means of prioritizing the mental health and wellness of young people by working to promote kindness and open and honest conversations about mental health, validating the emotions of young people, and eradicating the stigma around mental health.

“Medicine really helped me. A lot of people are afraid of medicine for their brains to help them. I really want to erase the stigma around this,” she said.

  1. Sophie Turner

The actress became a household name when she starred in Game of Thrones at the age of 13, but the fame took its toll on her mental health. Scathing comments left on social media about her weight and appearance left her with body image issues and depression for years. Thanks to therapy and the support of her husband, Sophie is now better but admits to still having mental health issues from time to time. 

“I had no motivation to do anything or go out. Even with my best friends; I wouldn’t want to see them; I wouldn’t want to go out and eat with them.”

MINDNATION IS HERE

Need a friend to speak to? MindNation psychologists are available 24/7 for teletherapy sessions. Book a session now thru bit.ly/mn-chat.

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Employee Wellness Featured

6 Ways to Show Empathy in the Workplace

With just a few simple actions you can help build stronger connections, foster a culture of honesty and openness, and make a real difference to the emotional well-being of your colleagues.

Empathy, or the ability to understand other people’s emotions, is an important skill in the workplace. When you can see things from someone else’s perspective, it becomes easier to resolve conflicts, improve productivity, and improve relationships with co-workers, clients, and customers. 

Here are some ways you can practice empathy at work: 

  1. Don’t just listen, pay attention to non-verbal cues as well. When someone is talking, use your eyes and ears to understand the message. Pay attention to their tone and body language. Observe how they are saying things – not just what they are saying. 
  2. Keep an open mind. One of the first steps to developing empathy is to let go of your own assumptions/beliefs and consider the other person’s perspectives. Listen respectfully and try to see where they are coming from. Don’t debate right away; instead, invite the person to describe their situation more and ask them for their suggestions on how the issue can be resolved.
  3. Be curious about other people’s lives and interests. Don’t just put yourself in another person’s shoes – instead, reach out and try on as many shoes as you can. As you broaden your knowledge, you will come to understand that just because someone else’s life is different from yours does not mean they are lesser than you. 
  4. Take care of your own mental health. If you cannot manage your own emotions and are constantly stressed or on edge, it will be difficult for you to understand what others are going through.
  5. Display compassion. When someone is in trouble or confused, lend a hand. When a colleague is sad, offer a shoulder to cry on. And when someone is worried, give your full attention and listen without judgement. All these things are examples of showing empathy. 
  6. Show gratitude. When we are more thankful to each other, we also become kinder and more tolerant individuals. Showing gratitude can be as simple as gifting your coworkers with snacks or praising them publicly for a job well done. 

Practice these skills often to develop your empathy. When you take an interest in what others think, feel, and experience, you’ll develop a reputation for being caring, trustworthy and approachable — and be a great asset to your team and your organization.

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Featured Mental Health 101

Learning Empathy for Kids ages 7-12

We’ve learned in past articles that empathy is an important life skill that everyone should possess. The earlier that children practice empathetic habits the more likely they will continue to do it as they grow older.

By the time children reach the age of 5, they begin to outgrow the “me” mentality of their toddler years and become more attuned to things happening outside their own bubble. Once they reach the formative ages of 7 to 12 and spend more time at school than at home, they will interact more with peers and learn empathetic concepts like sharing and cooperating. Working together in the classroom will make them realize that people have different feelings than they do and that their actions can affect how others feel.

Here are ways you can cultivate your child’s empathy even more:

When talking about feelings, talk about the physical manifestations as well. 
Teach kids to link their own physical manifestations to specific experiences, so that they will develop a sense of what other people might feel in similar circumstances. For instance, if your child sees someone who is scared, you might ask her, “Remember that time when you saw the big, barking dog? How did that feel in your body?” By recalling her pounding heart and sweaty palms, she’ll instantly know what someone means when he says he’s afraid.

Put him/her in someone else’s shoes.
If she’s going through a hard time with a friend or even a sibling, try role-playing the situation and have her look at it from both points of view. If a younger sibling refuses to share his toys, she might come to realize that if he is allowed to enjoy his toy a few minutes longer, he might be more inclined to let others have a turn. It does not necessarily mean that he is acting selfishly, rather she just needs to be more patient. On other hand, her own feelings of frustration and disappointment will teach her how hurtful rejection can be – and help her to be kinder the next time she does not want to share something herself.

Help children understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
It’s vital for children to learn that sometimes, concern for others should trump their own happiness. For example, they should do household chores even if they would rather watch tv, they should be polite even if they are in a bad mood, and they should not interrupt if their parents are talking to other people. 

Prioritize caring in your children’s lives. 
For example, when you ask your child about her day in school, don’t just ask if she listened to the teacher or did well in her written works. Ask her if she also showed care and helpfulness to classmates or other adults.

Continue to demonstrate empathy for others, especially those different from you.
Be a good role model. Reflect on how you treat the waiter at the restaurant or the salespeople at the mall. In addition, consider regularly engaging in community service or model other ways of contributing to a community. Even better, do this with your child. Express interest in those from various backgrounds facing many different types of challenges.

The good news is you don’t have to be a professional to teach your child to be mindful and compassionate of other people’s emotions. By simply engaging with your child and practicing what you preach, you can easily pass on the lessons of empathy. 

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Written by Jac of MindNation

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Featured Mental Health 101

5 Ways to Cultivate Empathy in Small Children

Photo by Valeria Ushakova on Pexels.com

Empathy is the ability to imagine how someone else is feeling in a particular situation and respond with compassion. It is a complex skill to develop in small children because they are still at an age when their needs are being met on-demand and they aren’t fully in control of their own emotions yet, let alone recognize what others may be feeling. However, empathy is also an essential life skill to learn because research has shown that it can build healthy and happy relationships with family and friends, as well as do well in school.

When a child is able to empathize, it means he or she can:

  • Understand that he/she is a separate individual, his/her own person
  • Understand that others can have different thoughts and feelings than he/she has
  • Recognize the common feelings that most people experience – happiness, surprise, anger, sadness, etc.
  • Look at a particular situation (i.e. watching a classmate tearfully say good-bye to his/her parent at play school) and imagine how he/she himself might feel in that moment
  • Imagine what response might be appropriate or comforting in the above situation – i.e. offer his/her friend a toy to comfort him/her

Here are some things parents can do to teach empathy to their toddler:

  • Show your child empathy. A common mistake parents make is to shush their child whenever he/she is crying – “Don’t be a crybaby, you have to be brave, you’re being embarrassing, etc.” Doing this teaches your child that feelings do not matter. Instead of brushing his emotions aside, ask him/her what is making him afraid or upset, acknowledge what he/she said, and find ways to resolve what is making him/her upset. “Are you afraid of the dog? I know his loud barks can be scary, but don’t worry, he is tied up so he cannot hurt you. Here, let me hold your hand as we pass by.”
  • Talk about other people’s feelings. In the same vein, when we see other toddlers crying or acting up, our first instinct is to hustle our own child away from the hubbub. But doing so teaches him/her that we should ignore other people’s unpleasant feelings. Instead of avoiding the situation, try discussing what happened – “How do you think he/she’s feeling?” and “Why is he/she feeling that way?” are questions that three-year-olds can easily understand and answer. Research has shown that when families routinely do this, kids can learn a lot about other people’s perspectives and how their minds function.

If your child personally knows the peer in distress (i.e. a family member or a classmate in play school), encourage him to personally reach out and find ways to offer comfort.

  • Be a role model. When your child sees you consistently acting kindly and respectfully to others (i.e. opening doors for strangers, carrying the things of older people, helping during times of crisis), they will emulate these habits as they grow older.
  • Use chores to teach them to be mindful and considerate of others. Toddlers can already be taught to pack away their toys, water the plants, and even set the table. Not only do these actions teach them about helpfulness, it also reinforces respect for others.
  • Be patient. Developing empathy takes time. There are teenagers (and even some adults) who lack empathetic skills, so don’t expect too much from your toddler. Especially between the ages of 0-3, it is perfectly normal for them to focus solely on themselves and their emotions, so the most you can do for now is to introduce the concept in their everyday lives so that it eventually becomes a habit.

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Written by Jac of MindNation

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METHOD TO THE MADNESS: Finding Peace In COVID-19 Pandemic

When the mood is as somber as it has been these past few weeks since the declaration of the pandemic, it is crucial to develop a positive outlook and a healthy mindset if we are to come out of this intact. Why? As much as this virus primarily attacks our respiratory system, the fight is both mental and physical.

A strong mind is one of the most powerful weapons we can wield at a time like this. And here are eight things we can do to help build our mental muscle.

  1. EXERCISE. Countless articles have been written about how exercise releases the happy hormones called endorphins. They can’t possibly be all wrong. So get up, and get going.  Even 20 minutes of moderate exercise 3x a week is a good place to start.
  2. GET SOME SUN. Studies have shown that a decrease in sun exposure may cause a drop in Serotonin—the chemical that contributes to one’s sense of well-being and happiness.  Anywhere from 15-20 minutes of exposure is recommended. Can’t go outside? Experts say even sitting by a window will suffice.
  3. DISTANCE YOURSELF PHYSICALLY, NOT SOCIALLY. The term “social distancing” actually refers to the physical distance you maintain in a social setting. Other than that, please reach out to family and friends online. A strong support group in trying times like these is as essential as oxygen is to daily life.  We all need someone to rant to, laugh with, cry with, and laugh with again.
  4. FEED YOUR MIND HEALTHY STUFF. Just as we shouldn’t feed our bodies with junk, the same is true for our minds. A good serving of reality (or news) balanced with a very generous serving of good vibes should do the trick. We only need to watch enough news to be aware of what’s going on. Not stuff ourselves with it.
  5. BE KIND TO EVERYONE, OURSELVES INCLUDED. These are not normal times. So it’s okay to feel uneasy or a bit off. No need to judge ourselves (or anyone else, for that matter) for feeling that way. Know and accept that the days ahead are challenging, and we are all just trying to get by as best as we can. And that is enough.
  6. FOCUS ON THE NOW. It’s been said that thanks to the virus the days of the week have been cut down to three… yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  With all the uncertainty, we can only live one day at a time. And that day is today. That moment is now. So focus on now, live it and make the most of it.
  7. FIND AN ANCHOR. When we find ourselves getting swept away by thoughts that run at breakneck speed to Worryville, we step on the brakes. Then we find something to help us anchor ourselves. This is where those breathing exercises or mantras come in handy.
  8. USE THE OFF SWITCH. For seven to eight hours each day, allow your brain to rest completely. Find a routine that will help you settle in for the night—meditation, drinking a cup of warm milk or tea, listening to music; and give your brain permission to unplug and reset.

If we mindfully practice these things (along with all the precautionary measures we’ve been told to take), there’s no reason we can’t make it to the other side safe. And sane.